Wednesday

Well things are going along OK. Our visitors have been great. Simon is a great cook and is keen to oblige. He made Thai chicken last night with a tasty green salad. Yummo. A couple of nights before that he made spag bol. from scratch which was a lot nicer than the sauce out of a jar! hehe I have doubts that he gets to spend so long on cooking at home - he would work long hours.

Anyway, anxiety levels are good I think. I feel OK. The only thing that "gets me going" at the moment is Carol (the MIL). and Emma. When I picked up Bridget last Monday they had the swing out - ugh. It's really quite ludricrous. They have Bridget once a week and they have just about everything that opens and shuts in that house for her. It's crazy! It makes me feel under pressure for some reason. I think it is because it is visual proof that Carol has nothing else going on in her life - she is devoting a lot of money and thinking and planning towards my daughter - and she only has her for one day a week. I feel that pressure on me - to - what? Give her more?? And, I don't want to give Carol more of Bridget. That's the whole issue. I don't TRUST her with my daughter - she has done a good job of fucking up her own daughter. I don't Bridget grwoing up to be another Emma. More of that later

The interest rates rose this morning - so - hopefully Robert an I will be able to get through without me having to go back to full time work. Hopefully we will be able to get through with me to the odd extra casual days to make up for it. We will jus have to pull back on a few things.

Anxiety levels are OK - did I already say that? I think the herbs must be doing a good job. I will most definitely reorder this Friday. I am feeling a bit ho-hum today though - tired and not really interested in getting out and about. I think ovulation must be approaching. I have noticed that when I am ovulating from the left side - which is the short cycle - I get VERY emo. Will have to keep an eye on it and ask around as to whether it would be better to be on the pill.

It is cycle day 12 today so if I am going to ovulate it will be in the next couple of days.